Social Pressure

A conversation I had:

Me: If I were to tell my 12 year old son, “Stop being a sissy” or “No, not like that…you’re throwing like a girl.”, is that “hate speak”?

Them:  No.

Me:  What if I were to say, “Don’t act so queer”?

Them: Yes.

Me:  Why?

Them:  Because one sounds worse than the other.

OK, so we don’t judge the words a man says, we judge the way they sound?  I happen to think “donkey” sound rather lewd, in that case.  And flabbergasted is pretty insulting.

But it seems that we have a double standard here.  In spite of the logic that both statements would be just about the same, the perception is that one is ok, while the other is different.

Honestly, I believe it has more to do with people over identifying with a group think…but that is another story.

It just seems that our language is being taken away from us bit by bit.  The conversational speak that men have used for years is being taken away through the use of social pressure that is meant to emasculate masculine banter.

Do I hate gays?  Absolutely not.  I have a few pieces on this blog discussing how I feel that they are overall mistreated.  But calling someone a “gaywad” doesn’t necessarily mean that you are inferring something about their sexuality.  “Gay” doesn’t always mean “homosexual”.  Come to think of it…the word “gay” was kind of taken over to begin with.  It originally meant “happy”.  In modern lingo, it means “lame”.

But the point is, why should anyone feel the pressure to stop using language that someone feels is hate speak, when your intent is not hate?  My best friends sister is a lesbian.  When I see her, she will say, “Hey, what’s up fag?”  When I say she is lesbian, I mean she is committed to the lifestyle since the age of 12.  Would I be right to presume that she has hate as her intent?

Similarly, what if I disagree with our president.  Why must this always end up spiraling downward into someone accusing me of racism?

About the only solution I can see is for people to look for intent, not content.  But since that won’t happen, this is a notice to the world:  I will no longer bend to your will.  Social pressure will not change my vernacular any more.

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