Candy Crisis

As you might be able to see, I have recently jumped into the world of Twitter.  Not sure what I think about it yet, but I did find this gem that calls herself “Candy Crisis”.  Crude, crass, insightful, and funny…everything I look for in a person.  Some samples of said brilliance:

I will fall in love with the man who gives me his unrequited love and doesn’t know what “unrequited” means.

Autoerotic asphyxiation enthusiasts die accidentally giving masturbation a bad name. Can’t they just hold their breath like the rest of us?

Whenever I’m not sure if he’s asking for dirty talk or dairy talk, I whisper: “For the freshest whipped cream, you gotta spank the cow.”

Lavish caviar fundraisers to buy canned food for the poor are nothing new. How about a charity orgy to benefit an order of Catholic nuns?

We have kids, then our kids have kids, then their kids have kids… Procreation is a pyramid scheme.

Revenge is a dish best served in a rush, when no one around is familiar with the Heimlich maneuver.

Truly funny stuff.  Check out her Twitter page:

http://twitter.com/#!/CandyCrisis

 

Advertisements

One Response to “Candy Crisis”

  1. Thanks for that one! Definitely a must follow.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: